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Jose Abreu Ate Passport Aboard Plane Escaping from Cuba

MIAMI (AP) — Chicago White Sox first baseman Jose Abreu told a Miami federal jury Wednesday that he ate a chunk of a fake passport while flying to the U.S. to cover up his illegal travel as part of a Cuban ballplayer smuggling operation.

Abreu testified he ordered a beer on an Air France flight from Haiti to Miami and slowly consumed the page containing a false name and his photo. Abreu said he traveled illegally because he was worried he would miss an October 2013 deadline and lose the $68 million contract he later signed with Chicago.

Jeez, and I thought the only things to eat at 30,000 feet were ham sandwiches older than your grandmother and runny vegetable stew that looks the same going in as it does coming out.

Well, White Sox slugger Jose Abreu found a way to sneak his own dish onto the plane and cut some calories in the process.

We’ve heard of heroic stories of players escaping Cuba on rafts, and some even being kidnapped and ‘smuggled’ into the United States and extorted, but where does eating a little navy blue manual rank on the bizarre meter? Did he combine the passport with some fava beans a nice chianti?