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NFL Owners Make $53 Million Each for Raiders Relocation

Roger Goodell walks into the Arizona Biltmore conference room, stares at 31 NFL Owners currently present for the annual Owners Meeting.

"Fellas, I'm going to make this real simply." Goodell says with a slight smirk on his face. "Janelle is going to pass out this simple sheet of paper with a YES and a NO on it. You are going to simply check the bo--"

"JESUS ROGER HE NEVER DEFLATED THOSE STUPID FOOTBALLS!" Shouts an angry Bob Kraft from the back corner of the room.

"I don't agree." States a somber Bill Polian. "But I did have a first-round grade on Tom Brady."

"Tom Brady, that's the guy who did it! Tom Brady!" Arthur Blank mutters with eyes that stare off into the distance, staring at nothing except eternal dispair. 

"Alright everyone. Just check yes if you want $53 million." 

"Well jeez Roger, why didn't you say so."